The relationship we have with our significant other is meant to be the most enriching trusting, and supportive relationship of all of our relationships. In a healthy relationship, we should feel loved unconditionally, and feel free to offer unconditional love in a consistent way. When romantic relationships break down, the feelings that arise in each person can be quite intense, and can affect the way we feel about almost every other aspect of our life.

In Dr Sieberhagen’s work with couples, she has come to recognise how difficult it can be to love and be loved in a healthy and life-affirming way. A lot of work must be put into relationships in order for the relationship to survive, and ultimately thrive. 

Most often, relationships fall apart when there is an unwillingness to think non-judgmentally about the feelings and thoughts of the other person. Usually, this happens when we feel so hurt that we function defensively to cope. The goal of couples’ therapy, broadly speaking, is to soften each person’s defences just enough to make it possible to have open and honest conversations about each person's feelings and thoughts.

During couples’ therapy, Dr Sieberhagen creates an environment in which couples are able to describe what the problem is and how it has affected them in different and unique ways. Following which, each individual’s emotional and psychological needs will be acknowledged before we start exploring the ways in which each person’s needs may be met.

Common issues raised in couples’ therapy can be poor communication; infidelity; sex; substance use; in-laws; management of finances; frequent conflict; parenting styles; division of household labour and emotional distance.

What to expect

Initially, Dr Sieberhagen will get to know the couple and their primary issues. This will take at least the first session but remains an iterative process throughout the therapeutic journey. Sometimes couples are surprised that this initial stage doesn’t merely focus on the immediate problems between them. Instead, a thorough assessment of the good and the bad, the past, the present and the future, is completed in order to understand the systemic makeup of the problem.

The therapy itself will focus on the strengths of the couple as individuals and as a team. Dr Sieberhagen will help the couple to create shared treatment goals which will help inform the treatment plan.

Please note that sessions are charged at medical aid rates.